If you have ever struggled with making small talk or just want some tips on how to be a great conversationalist, here are ten things you can try at the next party you attend or anywhere, really.
I recently found an old notebook in which I had written these tips down, years ago, when I was trying to be less socially awkward. Who knows if I actually used any of them when I was in a social setting? Most times I was too focused on my own anxiety. But there are some helpful ones and if you can remember to breathe and be present, hopefully these can help you have some great conversations. Unfortunately I forgot to write down my source, so if anyone knows and wants to share, please do. I can’t take credit for these ideas.
1. Don’t be embarrassed about standing alone at a party for a few minutes.
Key words here are: a few minutes. Don’t linger where the food is for too long, unless that’s the main reason you’re at the party!
2. When standing alone, make eye contact with others in the room.
Don’t just make eye contact with the charcuterie board! Or the wallpaper!
3. Smile – it’s an invitation to others who also may be shy or inhibited.
4. Don’t monopolize the conversation. There is a give and take rhythm to good conversation that should be acknowledged.
5. Don’t argue. Express your opinion but remember others have the right to different opinions.
6. Keep stories short and pithy. Get to the point.
7. Don’t share intimate information with strangers or casual friends – it’s embarrassing to the listener(s).
8. Introduce new topics if conversation is lagging. Politics, movies, tv, books, art, cooking, etc.
Politics may be an iffy subject. Read the room here.
9. Don’t cling. When someone is ready to move on, let them go and move on too.
10. Be an interested and encouraging listener.
What’s the most memorable conversation you ever had at a party?
This is a great topic. I know many people who think that they are the most fascnating speaker in the room. Well, guess what?
Even though many people in a conversation group may appear to be so interesting, so exciting, so important, just remember that many other very important people also have contributions to make. You, dear reader anywhere, are one of those.
And who decides who and what is important anyway!