Never in my wildest dreams did I think I’d move back to Saskatoon, the city of my youth… the city I couldn’t wait to leave to discover my adulthood.
Famous last words in a text I sent to my husband, Matt, after our last visit in the Summer of 2020:
“Let’s never move here!”
Never say never, I guess! Because here we are, just three and a half years later.
Our decision to move from Toronto – my home for two decades, and Matt’s for three – did not come lightly. A lot happened in the two years after I made that comment. This damn pandemic halted the world a bit. We were struggling financially. I broke my damn wrist. It felt like our world was imploding. So, naturally, it was the perfect time to move.
As Ali Wenzke says in her book, The Art of Happy Moving, “Moving at any time – and especially with kids – is one of Dante’s official circles of hell.” “We” were now a family of five, with two cats (at the time… now one). When we told our kids – aged twelve, nine and six – that we’d be making the move, one out of three of them was on board. The other two not so much.
“WHYYYYY?!!!”
“I’m not going!!!”
“I HATE YOU!” Well, maybe not that last line, though I’m sure that was said at some point before we actually made the big move.
Both Matt and I had to move to new cities when we were kids. He moved way more than I did up until his teen years all across Canada. I only experienced one major move with my family to a neighbouring province. As introverts, it was hard, to say the least. Saying goodbye to our one close friend or small friend group sucked. Matt had to do that multiple times. Coincidentally, my best friend at the time and her family happened to be moving to the same city – our dads were both University professors – so I had her to lean on. Matt had to make new friends each time he moved to a new city.
As much as I didn’t want to leave the only city I’d called home since birth, I had little control over that decision. So I had to learn to accept and adapt to the situation and the environment. It’s the same for our kids now. Saskatoon is not completely foreign to them, having visited their grandparents and my sister and her family numerous times in the past decade. The toughest thing, probably, is starting at a new school and making new friends. Never an easy task for an introverted kid! But I’m happy to report that they each have at least one friend, five months into the school year.
I wish I had come across Wenzke’s book sooner – as it’s filled with helpful tips she learned from moving ten times in eleven years! – but honestly I probably wouldn’t have had the time or energy to read it. From the moment we decided to move, up until the day we actually did, it took over a year of blood, sweat and tears… and possibly ten years off our lives. Reading the book now, in retrospect, has given me some perspective and quite a few laughs.
Let’s see if I can share some valuable insight with you – both hers and mine.
WENSKE'S 5 STEPS TO A HAPPY MOVE
STEP 1 – CHANGE YOUR MINDSET
New city? New adventures? It all depends on how you want to frame things. Focus on the positive rather than the negative.
Look, we have a garage now! And we don’t share a wall with our neighbour!
STEP 2 – SET GOALS
Create new (and better) habits simply by moving! It’s a chance to start over, a reset.
I’ve set some.
STEP 3 – SIMPLIFY THE LOGISTICS
Gather checklists and creative ideas for packing, decluttering and organizing.
I LOVE lists! Wenske provides a lot of handy ones in her book. We were lucky enough to have a stellar real estate agent in Saskatoon who gave us some great ones too.
STEP 4 – PREPARE YOUR FAMILY FOR THE MOVE
What parent isn’t worried about their kids when there’s a move happening? It’s important to talk about it together and learn ways to get through the changes that will occur.
We were also renovating our century old home, while living in it, for about 11 months before we moved so our talks were probably a little harried and not as soothing as they could have been.
STEP 5 – FOCUS ON BUILDING YOUR COMMUNITY
Find friends. And good neighbours. Wenzke has a few chapters full of tips.
So much harder when you’re an adult, it seems. Especially for intoverted types and homebodies. I will be implementing some of her strategies.
SO YOU WANT TO MOVE (TO SASKATOON)? WHY?
If you’ve been contemplating a move, Wenzke recommends that you ask yourself “Is this move right for me?”
I know that I was personally ready for a reset. Matt, on the other hand, had never seemed too keen on Saskatoon when we would come here for summer visits, but he was younger then and used to a more bustling and bigger city. When I asked him if he was willing though, he said yes.
Most people we told about our move had a pretty strong initial reaction – “Saskatoon?!! It’s SO cold out there! What is there to DO? HOW many people live there? It’s SO COLD out there!”
But again, it came down to OUR why. We were not going out every night, and if we did go out, it was mostly just around our neighbourhood. Did we really need to be in a city as vast and as fast-paced as Toronto? Since we loved spending so much time at home, it made more sense to move somewhere a little slower with slightly more space and be closer to extended family. I wanted our kids to be able to see at least one set of grandparents, an aunt, uncle and cousins more than once a year. Now they are a five to ten minute drive away! Plus, it seemed like a good time to sell our house and take advantage of the Toronto real estate market.
If you’re having trouble figuring out your why, Wenzke suggests ranking the five most important things in your life:
- a successful career
- financial wealth
- close personal relationships
- a nice home
- religion or spirituality
- hobbies or leisure activities
- intellectual growth
- safety
- autonomy
- helping others
- being healthy
Then pick the MAIN reason you are moving. If that reason is not in your top five list, then DON’T BOTHER MOVING! It’ll save you a lot of heartache and stress!
Still struggling? There’s also a quiz to help you figure things out, but you’ll have to buy the book or borrow it from the library like I did, to see it. And another suggestion is to start a gratitude journal about the current city you live in, so you understand what things are important to you.
If after all those steps, you’ve decided to move, Wenzke then suggests to visit your new city of choice BEFORE moving.
Well, lucky for us, we’d already spent time in Saskatoon, though it was mostly during the summers. My memories of the winters were a bit foggy, thirty years later, or maybe I had just blocked them out because the thought of enduring them was too much. I’d really only spent roughly seven years of my life here and those were the most angsty ones. And how can you call yourself a Canadian if you’re not cut out for the winters in the True North?
WE'RE HERE NOW
Winter is nearly over and Spring is just around the corner. Another new beginning… as hard as it can be for kids and adults alike, moving teaches you some important life lessons, including:
- RESILIENCE
- HOW TO SAY GOODBYE (AND HELLO)
- HOW TO APPRECIATE WHERE YOU ARE literally and figuratively.
BONUS: you also get to make a new home, something I love to do and look forward to doing in the coming years! I certainly don’t plan on moving anytime soon, having moved nearly 30 times in my lifetime!
And just check out the sunsets here! Saskatoon has some of the most memorable ones!
