Our second child, Blythe, will be turning eleven tomorrow. Born on a Wednesday, she used to be a child full of woe, but is now more living up to her given name. Cheerful, joyous, pleasant, though that could soon change as the preteen years can be some of the most difficult in one’s life.
Inspired by this list of 30 things, I’ve come up with eleven of my own to help her on her life’s journey.
1. It's Okay to Make Mistakes
You are bound to make mistakes in life. That’s okay. It’s how you handle them that is more important.
Learn from them. If you keep making the same one(s), try something different!
2. Grow Your Confidence by Developing a Skill.
Find something you like doing and practice it. Practice makes better. And when we get better at something, it helps us to develop confidence. So not only are we learning to improve the skill, we are improving our self-worth.
Blythe discovered that she is the best at Rubik’s Race in our family. Her cousin got the game for Christmas and Blythe was hooked after getting to play it a few times. So she asked for one of her own and spent a good amount of time, trying to solve the puzzle as fast as she could.
Were there some tantrums at first? You bet! But she persevered, locking herself in her room until she earned the time she wanted. And she loves beating everyone else who plays her. Definitely a confidence booster!
3. Getting Good Grades Isn't Everything...
But you still have to go to school and remember to do your homework!
We are working on this one. Blythe has a tendency to forget that she has homework until right before bedtime or else the morning it’s due. Even when I’ve asked her repeatedly if she has any.
I’m not that concerned about marks but I want to know that you are trying in school and doing your best, not simply going through the motions.
And yes, you have to go to school everyday, unless you are sick. Or I’m feeling generous.
4. There’s More to Life Than Books (and Screens).
Read, read, and read some more, Ms. Bookworm! Now’s the time to do it, when you have spare time. But also remember the put those books down and go outside, be active. Use your own imagination and do something creative! Move your body!
Please don’t waste hours of your day staring at a screen. Don’t get me wrong, I love a good movie or tv show. But while we watch other people living their life, we’re not living ours to the fullest. Be the one to watch sometimes! Harry Potter and Twilight can wait!
5. Once you Find Your Passion, Nurture it!
While you are still young, experiment and discover what excites you. If it’s art, then practice those skills! Every day if you can. It doesn’t have to be what you end up doing as a career but having something to motivate you is what’s important. And it’s never too early to start pursuing your passion!
Blythe is a budding artist and sometimes puts me to shame with her drawing skills. When I think back to my own art at the same age, I can see how the right environment and encouragement can make a difference in a person’s development.
6. Sometimes it Takes Time to Find Your Tribe or Your Voice.
We all grow at our own pace. It’s okay if you don’t have a dozen friends or are not the loudest person in the room. Take the time to get to know the people you want to get to know. And be true to yourself in how you communicate and what you want to communicate. Friendship should never feel forced or cause you to feel like you have to be someone else.
7. Be Kind.
Remember that kindness matters. It’s the little things. Do unto others as you would have them done unto you. Without any expectations of something in return. Do it just because. Your small gesture of kindness could impact someone else’s day dramatically!
And I appreciate all the cleaning help I can get.
8. Be a Good Listener.
Listening skills are so important. If you want someone to listen to you, be sure to pay attention to them when they are talking to you. Whether it’s a teacher, a friend, a sibling or your mom or dad.
A good way to practice this skill is by repeating back what the person said. And no, not in an annoying let’s copy word for word what you just said. Say it in your own words, so they know you’ve understood what they just told you.
9. Appreciate Your Siblings... Even When They're Annoying.
This one’s hard, I know. Little brothers can be SO aggravating! And older sisters too! But they will not always be around, like ten feet away from you. Or even in the next room.
Eventually you will grow up and move to different homes or different cities. And then you may be lonely. So you’ll want a friend or two.
Siblings can be your friend too. And mortal enemy. But choose the former.
Blythe and her brother definitely have a love/hate relationship. It’s so nice when they are getting along and so irritating when they are not. Hopefully Blythe can learn to take the higher road as she enters her eleventh year.
10. Change is Hard, but Inevitable. Learn to Adapt.
Nothing ever stays the same, and if it does, then maybe you’re stuck in a rut. Like Bill Murray, in Groundhog Day.
Life will inevitably change. People will change, if ever so slightly OR drastically. But you can learn to adapt to those changes if they’re not to your liking. Because you are strong and resilient! Look how far you’ve come this past year!
11. Learn to be Independent, but Also Don't Grow Up Too Quickly!
Hurry up! But take your time!
Apparently Blythe already knows everything (wink wink) when it comes to the birds and bees. I did not have this conversation with her yet, nor have I even talked about it with her older sister. Sigh. I guess I learned about that in grade six or seven at school. And well, these days, kids are exposed to so much more.
I want to teach you how to be independent by getting you to do things you don’t necessarily like to do – flossing and brushing your teeth, taking a shower, brushing your hair, making your bed, sleeping in your own bed, etc. The basics of getting by when you’re older.
But ALSO, you don’t need to grow up too fast! You’re only turning eleven! I don’t mind you holding my hand still. Or wanting to snuggle if you’re scared. I’ll be here for you.
Blythe, we are so proud of you. Nanny and Grampie